It's amazingly easy to focus on the bad, isn't it? I've noticed that in people--but mostly myself. When I get in a bad mood, I don't want to be comforted. I'm perfectly content to stay there until I'm ready to be happy again. Then I wonder why I spend so much of my time exhausted.
Focusing on negative feelings takes up so much energy. So why is it so easy, I wonder? It's ridiculous that as I sit in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, I can much more quickly draw up a list of bad things than good things. How selfish can one person be?
I will not have my only written memories be bad ones. I've justified myself time and time again that writing is an outlet for my emotions...and the only ones I really want to get rid of are the bad ones. Writing them out helps to expel them from my body or mind or wherever it is they reside, but it also preserves them. This can be good if I write both good and bad feelings. The bad ones can remind me of how far I've come and how far God's grace extends, and the good ones can facilitate in story-telling and in reminding me of God's goodness.
So, I'm going to write down a few awesome things in my life right now. First of all, I have a God who puts up with my roller coaster emotions with endless patience. His love consumes me, and I'll stand up again and do so willingly. I have a wonderfully supportive family who never stops praying for me. I know that I'll always have at least 7 people in my corner ready to help me in any way they can. I have fabulous friends who also pray for me and are always willing to have fun with me and aren't afraid to call me out. Then there's Alabaster who seems willing enough to put up with all my crazy, and we're not even dating yet. I have a friend who is like a second mother who prays for me as faithfully as she does her own children. I have my XA family who cares deeply about who I am in Christ and helps me grow.
I'm also in a beautiful country with my best friend with the opportunity to serve Christ and advance His Kingdom. God has provided a wonderful family to watch out for us, and I truly love them as they have become MY family. I have 13 kindergarten students whom I absolutely adore. They love me, too. I know that when they are with me, they see and experience love. I have made friends here in Guatemala that I know will last a lifetime. I got to celebrate the precious day of Valerie's birth yesterday. I have literally gone this whole trip without having a panic attack (PTL). I have had the opportunity to learn the Spanish language, patience, how to receive grace, how to give grace, how to paint a cement wall, how to choreograph dances for children, how to make Pastor Max feel awkward, how to love unconditionally, how to pray better, how to dance in the rain (figuratively and literally), how to trust God to keep His promises, how to NOT be so anal about time, how to play new games (even poker...I know. I'm a sinner)....and so many other things.
My favorite thing that I've learned: being embarrassed sucks, but it doesn't last forever. Plus, if you're wise, you'll learn from your mistakes...whether it's a word mispronounced or fessing up to doing something stupid that ended up hurting someone (physically or emotionally...), it's not likely you'll want to duplicate the feeling of being embarrassed.
I've even had the opportunity to see some of the most beautiful things ever ranging from girls in the home taking care of each other like sisters to the breathtaking landscape of volcanoes. There is so much good happening here...and there is so much good happening in me. Satan is not strong enough to bring me down because even if there were nothing good in my life (which, as you can see, there's a lot of good): My God's not dead. He's surely alive, and He's livin on the inside roarin like a lion. And that's better news than anything man can create. BOO-YAAHHH Satan!
No comments:
Post a Comment