I am "That" girl

So I cannot in any way, shape, or form take credit for this idea. My beautiful best friend Valerie (Ginger Spice and Everything Nice...check her out) did it first. I haven't updated in a million years, and I have a loottt of feelings. So here it goes.

I never wanted to be "that" girl. I never wanted anyone to pin me. We all want to be unique but still fit in, too, right? As I started thinking about who I am and who "that" girl is, I found that over the course of my life I have compiled a very long list of who and what I don't want to be. So on top of the list of "no's" there is a list of "can'ts." And instead of trying to figure out what was good about me (trust me the thought briefly crossed my mind, and the task seemed impossible), I listened to Idina Menzel sing "I'm Not That Girl" on repeat for days, drowning in my own insecurities. "Don't wish; don't start...wishing only wounds the heart. I wasn't born for the rose and pearl. There's a girl I know; He loves her so...I'm not that girl..."

I'll never be thin enough, but I can't be "that" girl who so obviously she thinks she's fat. I will always have baggage, but I can't be "that" girl who talks about her problems all the time. I will never be beautiful, but I can't be "that" girl who wears her insecurities on her sleeve. ...The list goes on and on.

So today as I procrastinate doing homework, Christmas shopping, and cleaning my room, I have decided to flesh out who I am in hopes to gain some direction...and maybe to inspire you to think about who you are.

I am that girl...
who is eager to please Christ but terrified that she is going to screw everything up.
who knows that Jesus has already provided for past and future mistakes but struggles to transfer this information from her head to her heart.
who still cries when she hears "Butterfly Kisses."
who wants more than anything to know others and be known.
who talks to her reflection when she can bear to look at it.
who sings for any reason at all in hopes that someone will hear it and find it pleasing.
who wants people to think she's pretty.
who is a pretty rockin' powerlifter.
who is incredibly self conscious about her manly hands.
who wishes she could be more like her sister.
who loves having tiny feet.
who still jams out to Veggie Tales.
who wishes she still loved Christmas.
who wants her boyfriend to become "facebook official," but wants it to be his idea.
who dances really badly, but dances anyway.
who loves deeply.
who wants to be tiny because tiny things are adorable.
who is obsessed with Pinterest.
who misses playing basketball.
who wishes she were less competetive.
who is really smart.
who plays clarinet.
who can't wait to get married.
who likes to get crafty.
who really wants someone to leave an anonymous note on her door/car/bike/anywhere.
who doesn't like to wear makeup.
who counts her steps when she's walking.
who loves the taste of cinnamon toothpaste.
who is looking for any reason to take a million pictures with Shuckie...because we have none.
who has a terrible case of senoritis.
who worries about everything.
who wants desperately to be a mother.
who is terrified of pushing people away.
who sometimes pushes people away in an attempt not to.
who hears voices no one else can.
who finds it incredibly difficult to be crazy and smart.
who is in love with the idea of being in love.
who smiles because it's worth it.
who loves children's movies.
who has to be the best at everything and hates it.
who reads a little too obsessively.
who reeeaallllyy loves hugs...from anyone.
who loves making others smile.
who is really afraid she's not worth it.
who drives an Element named Bruce.
who bikes a lot...but not well.
who takes the long way to classes just to watch people.
who is terrified of clowns.
who loves sunflowers.
who adores kisses.
who is a treasured princess in Heaven,
and who wants to be a treasured princess here.

I know that this doesn't even come close to summing me up, but I also know that this blog is getting really lengthy. I'm sure that if there is anyone that does read my blog, he/she does not really care to know any more about me. But I DO want to know about you...really. Talk to me: in person, text, call, comment on my blog, message me, leave me a note, write me a letter, etc. I want to know you...because I love you. :) I really, really do.